Brian Soto : The Blogging On The Internets
Behaving Inappropriately
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WitStream: Behind the Tweet: @TrainedHedonist
Back when the droves of event film commerce spammed cyberspace with links and hashtags for the sharkjumping schlock of Paranormal Activity 4, I felt duty-bound to remind people (subversively) how bad the movie was. Sadly, only minutes later that sense of duty was replaced with a preoccupation…
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My Friend’s Suicide
An old friend of mine took his own life yesterday. I got the news on a voicemail from a mutual friend in the morning. I hadn’t spoken with either in years. Close friends through my teens and twenties, we lost touch nearly a decade ago when he moved away to start a life with his new family. He eventually got ahold of me on Facebook, but beyond a few brief exchanges online, I wasn’t active in his life. I did however make a point of periodically checking his wall updates. The last thing I noticed he was making a spirited rally in a battle with alcohol, and taking stock of the things that mattered most in his life—his wife and children.
I was quietly happy for him, and although our lifestyles and values had changed, our history hadn’t, and I’d entertained ideas about catching up on old times. It never occurred to me that I may have just been content watching the outward appearance of something more desperate. I spent much of the day following that news doing what I imagine most might consider an exercise in futility— asking myself if I could have done more; asking myself if fixating on my own life came at the cost of time spent providing encouragement or insight to someone who could have used it.
Playwright Arthur Miller once wrote, “Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.” For whatever personal truth can be excavated from that, I also believe while there’s no utility in habitually punishing yourself for things you’ve already done, perhaps a bigger lesson can be learned from the things we haven’t done. As details of this tragedy became clearer, I learned apparent significant personal and financial trouble interrupted my friend’s life in quick succession, and many close to him weren’t even aware of his sudden spiral.
Today I watched a video of my friend playing with his son, and heard his voice for the first time in years. I stopped trying to fight the tears. It’s easy to judge people from a place of relative stability, when the things we most care about aren’t forfeit. The truth is we each don’t know how we would react with our backs against a wall until our backs are actually there. I don’t know how much veiled pain my friend was already enduring when these stabilizing forces in his life toppled beneath him, and I think part of the reason I didn’t know is probably a bit of both of our fault.
I can think of few things that serve as such a solemn reminder that life is so finite and the relationships that comprise it so fragile. It would be at least arrogant to pretend I had all of the answers my friend needed, or that any one of us could have vanquished the demons that only recently characterized his life, but I’d be lying to say it hasn’t made me think twice about how much I’m asking the simple question, “how have you been?”If you’re hurting, there’s help out there, and it isn’t limited to the help you think you have.
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Not many photos manage to be both iconic and emotionally stirring. This is a powerful and evocative image.
(Source: reddit.com)
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I’ve just joined the illustrious ranks of Steve Huff’s @Lifecoachers. Needless to say, this is a talented bunch of assholes who I’m proud to destroy my liver with.
So if any of you guys are in need of good life advice, you should probably ask someone else. But if those people get mauled by a bear, or something, obviously you should ask me. Because who better to coach your life than an adult man who has a surplus of free time to write things at 3:00 am on a week day. Hold me. -
Apologies for the lack of updates. I expect to be more active here, as I’m returning to Twitter. Also, that was worded confusingly.
If you have any questions, this video should clear things up. -
If any of you have a problem with Josh Hara’s drawing skills, I think my left eyebrow can be repurposed as a jail shank.
Twits: An @yoyoha Portrait Project: @trainedhedonist
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What this should probably say instead:
We’re very sorry.
We can’t facilitate access to basic functions on our site.
So maybe you should donate to Red Cross, or kick a ball. Bike seats! Noodles!
Other words! -
Judges like this make ass cancer seem a little redundant.
(Source: nirak)
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The Blogging on the Internets
Since I was busy taste testing several cans of Four Loko and taking a sidewalk nap when I started all of this a month ago, I wanted to take a moment to properly introduce my blog so it’s more official and people know that I’m not just some loser who hangs out on Twitter all the time, and that I spend lots of time on Tumblr too. Also, I want to briefly outline my plans for the direction of the blog. Given time constraints (due to not knowing what to say and a preponderance of crying man-fits) I won’t be able to post here as frequently as I’d like, but hopefully what I do post follows some kind of cohesive theme, like my shitty literary prowess, for example.
Rather than bore everyone with hackneyed, well-written, informative or insightful writing, I think it’s important I write to my strengths instead. By “strengths” I mean the words I know how to spell. You can think of this blog as a sort of journal, similar to the ones used by a misunderstood teenage girl, or a florid neurotic adult man battling a somewhat paradoxically tragic mix of unwarranted narcissism and crippling anxiety who tries to reconcile his obsession with forgotten 80’s television sitcom actors and maintaining some semblance of normalcy in his personal life which is characterized by a series of heartwarming tales of repeated failures (for example). I’ll also catalog adventures where I intrepidly face real world dramas like leaving my house, or going on “dates,” and my noble quest to pass the California bar so I can be seen being modest in public helping people who don’t dress very well, but mostly to get a fancy Esq. at the end of my name so I can call my dad and scream, “NOW WHO’S BOSS?” Nothing out of the ordinary is what I’m saying.
As time allows I’ll periodically check in to sound off on salient world issues like Steven Seagal’s shirt-jackets, and which toy manufacturer is responsible for the creation of Justin Bieber, or otherwise try to sound important. I simply want to take readers on a very basic kind of careening roller coaster ride through a drug-addled, gen-x counterculture fallout carnival of a mind loitered by the occasional thought-hobo; a thought-hobo who fell asleep in a puddle of word vomit in a fragile memory shelter ceaselessly battered by the tumult of emotional tempests. Also, the operator of that roller coaster may not want to work that day, or maybe he might want to leave from time to time to get a ham sandwich and watch Norwegian softcore pornography.The price of admission for these forthcoming rides that you want to enjoy really hard is the straining power of your credulity, and your booze. But mostly your booze. Nothing fancy.
Author
I'm Brian Soto, and this is my blog. I try to write words that makes laughter come out of people. Sometimes I get lucky and get that laughter from people pointing in the distance, or immediate family who join those people. If you're wondering about the title, that makes two of us. Just know that I smiled as a child might while writing it. A grown up child. A full grown adult man-child.
